Skip to main content

Conan the Barbarian #7 (2023) review








Thrice Marked for Death! part three: HAUNTED!... Jim Zub's vulgar sequel to Queen of the Black Coast continues.


Conan is remembering "the good old times" with his bipolar girlfriend BĂȘlit.


Back to the present, a bewitched Chaundra "The Chat" (It's somehow very important to constantly remind the reader that she's nicknamed "The Chat" but apparently Zub means a chatterbox not a songbird or a cat.) tries to assassinate our Cimmerian. "The Chat", now with deadite-like looks and enhanced strength, stabs Conan in the trapezius and slits a poor random dude's tongue. Conan kills her.


Bleeding, haunted by the past, lost in his fevered mind, Conan garrottes BĂȘlit.
Conan stumbles upon Kamal's secret gathering point.
The barbarian finds his allies from the guild of thieves butchered by Kamal and locksmith Greff, both also possessed, just like "The Chat".

Conan kills his two bandit buddies, dead Chaundra shows up, all 3 spectres of the Black Stone/Tarim's Touch depart their separate departed hosts and take over Conan.


Conan is now a thrice possessed tool for Thulsa Doom.


What I did like:


Deadites and H. P. Lovecraft's Necronomicon appear in The Evil Dead films. Robert E. Howard and Lovecraft were pen pals.


The Conan The Barbarian Vol. 1: Bound in Black Stone commercial looks cool.




What I did not like:


The Evil Dead but without the humour. You're doing it wrong.


This substandard tale from Zub drags and drags.


Incompetent editors! Conan can't put a sleeper hold on a petite possessed woman? He can't run away? He has to destroy her face? He has to kill her? This is vile and unacceptable! Chris Butera and Matt Murray, shame on you both.


Not crediting Barry Windsor-Smith on the REH and his ages undreamed of page. Not groovy at all!


The stupid "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" gore.


Will we ever see Thulsa Doom? James Earl Jones where are you!? Send James his money and let's get this ball rolling already.


Not promoting the return of SOLOMON KANE by Patch Zircher in SAVAGE SWORD OF CONAN #1 (of 6)! Not even one variant cover with SOLOMON KANE? Pathetic!


Still no King Kull.


Still no cover by KyuYong Eom!


Still no cover by British comics artist Colin MacNeil!


Francesca Baerald's Hyborian Age poster is still not available from Diamond Comic Distributors!


I give it a 0/10. Zero? You put your hands on women, you get zero. Titan Comics + Heroic Signatures give us a Conan vs Mansyur Daman's Mandala (Bumilangit Komik) mini-series tout de suite!!!










Popular posts from this blog

A Touching Tribute To The Late, Great, Bottalk Bulletin Board + Renaud FAQ!

The smartest and the most handsome podcasters on the Internet: The Fanholes and a collection of exceptional guests say au revoir to the legendary Bottalk board. Click to download or listen to this remarkable recording. And don't forget to get out your boxes of tissues! Thanks, guys! Much appreciated! Renaud FAQ

G.I. Joe #2 (2024) review

Creators : Joshua Williamson (writer), Tom Reilly (artist), Jordie Bellaire (colorist), Rus Wooton (letterer) Story : Picking right up after last issue, Rock 'n Roll is down and the Joes are cornered but Duke comes in on a Cobra F.A.N.G. to help out.  Despite a valiant fight, Cobra is able to head off with the Shard/Energon Tech, though Duke is able to recognize Mercer. Cobra Commander sends in his elite "Valkyries" to finish the job (who kill any wounded) and remote detonates the laser guns so they aren't captured (upsetting Destro as he didn't know that feature was built in).   In the hospital, we find out Stalker and Cover Girl have pretty serious injuries, Rock 'n Roll is dead and Clutch is missing in the rubble.  General Hawk introduces Guerrero La Caza aka Risk, a CIA operative (seen last issue) to the team, upsetting Duke and they get into a fight.  Back at Springfield, Destro would like some more answers about the origin  of the Energon Tech but Cobra...

G.I. Joe #1 (2024) review

Creators : Joshua Williamson, Tom Reilly, Jordie Bellaire Story :  Duke is leading the G.I. Joe team on some training exercises - Clutch, Stalker, Cover Girl, Rock 'n Roll and the Baroness, while giving a bit of background on each.  The Baroness does struggle working with the crew and Duke feels they are not ready yet. In Springfield, Destro shows off his newest gun to Cobra Commander who is very impressed with it.  In Abu Dhabi, G.I. Joe agent Risk (the one missing a part of his left pinkie) beats up some people and tells them not to sell to M.A.R.S. Industries.  Back at the Pit, Hawk and Duke talk it over on what it means to be a leader and what the team needs. They then get their first mission; to retrieve a piece of Cybertronian tech while at the same time Cobra is going after it.  While the Joes are retrieving the tech, they come under attack by Cobra forces, who seem to have them outgunned and out-technologized with their new laser rifles.   Writing ...