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Conan: The Halls of Immortal Darkness review




eBook by Laird Barron

Cover once again by E. M. Gist 

From Titan Books and Heroic Signatures

Spoilers! Spoilers! 


In Stygia, Conan, now a former place guard, puts the head of his previous employer, a southern Prince on a pike.

Conan flees North. He enjoys the loneliness of the desert and survives on water and lizards.

Conan dreams of Valeria, gets bitten by an Egyptian cobra and slowly starts dying.

At the point of death, unable to speak, an old tall hooded woman (the Lady of the Desert) and her gigantic pet tarantula with a humanoid skull appear.

The tarantula starts sucking the venom out of Conan, Conan stabs it with his bone dagger.

Conan wakes cured in the care of merchant Khal.

Khal is going to Corinthia, Conan leaves his new friend when they arrive in Koth.

Conan wants to spend his Stygian coins in Korveka.

Conan gets harassed by a Hyrkanian.

Conan spends his money in a hostel. After a week of partying the money is gone.

Conan saves from muggers the khopesh swinging white-haired manservant Malkarn and his ward, Xellia, a Priestess of Derketo.

Conan is invited to the Tower of Desire, a Derketo temple.

Conan notices Xellia's Feathered Serpent forearm tattoo.

Xellia is the last descendant of House Pathrak.

Xellia offers Conan her holy gold neckless if he will join her on a quest to the holiest site of Lady Derketo to return a sacred crest to the order of Derketo. This gesture will absolved Xellia of her family's ancient crimes (A sorcerer-king delved in necromancy to gain immortality).

Conan dreams of skeletal hands drowning him.

Conan finds freshly drained mummified Hyrkanians next to a campfire. 

Xellia and Conan make love and as atonement for past sins, she tells him how to defeat Malkarn.

At the summit of a mountain they find the temple/House of Derketo with its bronze doors covered in ancient symbols... opened.

Conan notices that the decor is clearly ancient, pre-Kothian.

As they go deeper into the shrine, Xellia starts chanting and using her incense burner.

Animated Skeletons of dead priest and looters attack Conan, but strangely leave Malkarn alone.

Xellia destroy some of the Skeletons with a high-pitched chant, Conan crushes what he can and Malkarn uses a spell to break apart the rest.

Xellia turns on Conan by putting him to sleep.

Malkarn is actually the cursed (by The Nameless Dark) immortal patriarch of House Pathrak and Xellia is his great-great-granddaughter.

Malkarn wants to sacrifice Conan to regain his supernatural powers and to get rid of his curse.

Malkarn explains that the Hyrkanians were a late night snack and that the muggers were paid performers. 

Xellia betrays Malkarn by giving Conan a Khopesh. Malkarn kills her.

Malkarn morphs into his true chthonian form, a creature of the night.

Conan chops at Malkarn to no avail. Malkarn snaps the Khopesh in two. 

Conan stabs Malkarn with his blessed bone dagger (still caked/consecrated with spider blood).

Malkarn falls into the sacrificial pit and Conan brings Xellia's body back to the surface and buries her.

Three days later, Xellia is now a creature of the night. She finds Conan, he's sleeping, having a post-traumatic nightmare, cradling his sword. Xellia flies away.


What I did like:

The Heroic Legends Series gets renewed for another year! Yes!

Conan and Valeria were never lovers in "Red Nails", but they were in the 1982 movie.

Subotai was a Hyrkanian.

The Nameless Ones from The Worms of the Earth mentioned.

Derketo, the dusky goddess, the goddess of seduction from The Slithering Shadow mentioned.

Tombalku from The "Drums of Tombalku" mentioned.

Conan's crucifixion and Khauran from A Witch Shall be Born mentioned.


What I did not like:

Who or what is occupying the sacrificial pit? I really wanted to know.

Conan suffering from bad dreams? Highly doubtful.

A short story that doesn't know when to end.


I give it a 7/10. We need to see a sequel from Laird and more stories set in the John Milius Cinematic Universe.

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